So Not Me, A Rant

I have been struggling. Legitimately.  I was told that going abroad would help hone in my focus with school and life in general but I am finding that I am only focused on life rather the assignments for class that are necessary for me to graduate and actually have a life.  Does that seem weird?  I am sure that this is normal for a senior in college who is burnt out from writing paper after paper, taking test after test...I am sure that you are all with me when I say sometimes I just want to curl up on the couch and not leave.  Not do any work.

This has been going pretty well for me thus far but I have hit the point in the semester when I start getting grades back from papers and tests and am finding myself sincerely dissatisfied with my performance and outcome. I procrastinated the paper that I finishing up for class today until yesterday--since when do I ever do that?  I curled up at Panera all afternoon yesterday and wrote away and ended up sleeping at 2am, woke up at 7 and am still not happy with the final product.  

I found myself reading motivational quotes to get through the daunting last hours and even splurged on nutella and pretzels.  Don't get me wrong, I love writing and I love what I am taking but what gives?  I was able to go and run 5.5 miles yesterday (Yes, I actually did it!) which felt beyond amazing and was able to get some work done but I am now beating myself up over the lack of focus.  Maybe that will straighten me out and focus me.

I apologize for this rant and hope that you are better of than I am on this dreary Tuesday morning.  All will be fine by the end of the day. Enjoy.